Save Me
I spent a lot of this life feeling pretty alone. And to be honest, that probably had more to do with me than the people in my little corner of the world. I’d want connection and for people to love me but would often keep them at arm’s length because I was terrified of being hurt. Again.
This isn’t a unique story. It’s probably more of us than not, but for me, I isolated myself into a tiny little black box of a brain and over the years, it got so much worse. People would try to help me and I’d just shut it down because I knew everyone was already struggling and I’d just figure it out on my own.
And that worked out great, right? Right.
What’s the saying? “Nobody’s coming to save you?”
Well, that may be the case for some people, but honestly, I’ve been saved more times than not. I just sucked at recognizing it. I’m so grateful for so many people from my present and my past. Friends and loved ones who loved me through the most unloveable versions of me.
Life is going to be harder. There’s zero doubt about it. And the road will take some unexpected turns. This year is proof. But this time, I’m taking a different approach. The arm’s length is getting shorter and I’m trying.. key word here.. trying to let the people who love me… really love me, without dictating the terms and asking myself if I deserve it.
I do. We all do.
Love you.
