Clock’s Ticking

Go fast. Don’t die.  

That’s the slogan for a company I love.  They make clothing for folks who ride motorcycles.  Not people like me who run ovals on foot or up and down in the dirt.  But the motto… it hits hard for me and I feel it in my bones.  

Every day the alarm clock goes off and you get a chance to win. Or lose.  What that means is pretty relative depending on the day.  Winning looks different when you’re in a season of struggle.  It looks much better when you’re “race ready” but life never cares what we want so it’s a roll of the dice every time we line up.  

Running has been my best friend and the biggest b$!@%…all rolled into one.  I’ve sorted through the highest highs and the lowest of lows with the sound of “right foot left foot” humming along.  It’s the sound of peace or nothing at all.  And sometimes it’s the only way to make everything stop.  If you know you know and if you don’t, it’s ok too.  There are days I envy folks who don’t have that constant pull that drags me right back out.  But for now, no race, no problem.  It’s the training that keeps me coming back for more.  The love of listening to the sound of my breath or the plan I’ve created to solve the worlds problems or at least get that person to another PR.  

Life’s complicated but really.. we’re not.  It’s amazing what a little love, sweat, and inspiration can do if you really let it.  One more day and one more run.  Because after all, as the father of national parks, John Muir put it, “the world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” 

Wonder in the Work

That podium feels so good.

Right next to that PR.  

We all love a win or at least to beat our former best selves but when that feeling fades and the glory’s gone.. what’s left but the work?

Do you still love it? 

Do you love the lonely runs?

The cold and rainy ones where no one cares if you stole a Strava segment and you’re just out there alone with your thoughts.

Learn to love it.  

To live in it when there’s no one coming to tell you you’re great. 

When it’s you against you, there’s just nothing to lose and that’s where the magic takes place. 

The little things, they make us better.

But doing them day in and day out takes patience and grace.  

You can earn it but you can’t keep it.

It will catch you, just like life.  Just like a race. 

There’s wonder in the work if you’re willing to find it but it ain’t pretty or for the faint of heart.

It takes courage to cross the finish line, 

But even more to survey the scene, pick up the pieces and then make your way all the way back to the start. 

To Be A Coach

“We have a heartbeat.”

Powerful words from an athlete who’s been trying to start a family for some time, despite grief and loss.  Over several months, we shifted training to take on new meaning as she coped and tried to process it all and try again. 

A family choosing to open their home to a pair of foster kids who needed love and patience, all while raising two young kids of their own.  This meant training changes but doesn’t have to mean it stops.  It was a time to take a step back and control the controllables when everything else felt like chaos. 

These are just examples of what coaching REALLY means.  The hard conversations about fueling to help an athlete regain a period for the first time in far too long or being the person to give guidance as a runner comes back from Covid so we aren’t sidelined for weeks, from things that could’ve been prevented with a gentle come-back approach. 

I do this because I love it. 

Folks get faster and stronger but we also work on LIFE.  We don’t train in a bubble and our real-world obligations don’t care if it’s time to PR.  Training does help us handle stress but training IS stress and it’s hard to separate the pair when we can’t see the forest for the trees.  

A good coach knows about your life.  They know your strengths and weaknesses and they lift you up BUT they’re also that place to land when the bottom falls out, from a big swing that didn’t go your way.  

I love coaching and I love learning the ins-and-outs of athletes as we all line up to race this life.  It’s a gift and I’m honored every day.  Thank you for letting me be a part of your life-long race plan.

Photo credit: Nathan Alexander  

Expect To Be Exposed

Racing is a vulnerable thing. Lining up to compete will test the will of most athletes. But that’s the point of training. We work to be comfortable in discomfort. To manage nerves. To go to that place.. you know the one. And just .. sit there. Just sit right in the middle of that mental mess and try to make magic happen.

One of my favorite runners of all time, Des Linden, put it simply: “expect to be exposed.” Ain’t that the truth. But man, do I love that.

That’s a part of training we don’t talk about enough. The best workouts are physically hard AND test your mind at the same time. You gotta know when to push and when to hold back. And you’ve also gotta know when it’s just not your day.

But.. the work’s gotta be worth it. You’ve gotta love the process of pushing and pulling or the highs and lows will never be enough. You’ll keep running but the well goes dry. And there’s not enough Instagram likes to get you back on the line.

If you don’t love the journey, don’t worry, it’s gonna show.
Expect to be exposed.

Start From Scratch

I was a television news producer in my former life. Each day was a blank page and an opportunity to tell the stories of the communities I covered. I loved it. When you get to give a voice to people who depend on you AND make sure they’re more informed than the day before, you go home feeling satisfied. I loved to listen to viewers and tell their stories. And no two days were alike.

Now I use those skills every day as coach but at no time more than when there’s a need to go back to the drawing board. It can be scary but there’s also freedom in a brand new day, new run, new training cycle or brand new approach.

Sometimes we get so set in our ways or stuck in a routine. And we’re afraid. We’re afraid to change course because we’re so far in, and it would feel like giving up.

BUT… that’s the problem.

That’s not what giving up looks like. Instead, it takes courage to step back and start over. To look at where you’ve been and decide it’s time to take a different path.

In tv, I’d spend all day working on a show and then we’d have breaking news and the whole day’s work goes down the drain. Except it doesn’t. Every story I wrote was still important and every change of course created skills I never knew I needed until I did. You see, life AND training aren’t static. We are living, breathing creatures and our training has to be the same. Consistency is always key and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. But if it’s not working, don’t be afraid to scrap it and start from scratch.

Each day is a blank script and YOU get to write it. It’s your story and only you can change the way it ends.

Detective Work

I’m a detective.

No really. I am.

A coaching mentor, Dan Pfaff, recently said that “coaching is detective work. Therapy is detective work.” And he is right.

He was speaking in terms of trying to find the possible root of an injury when the obvious isn’t the cause.

But I think a good coach investigates everything. From physical ailments to how someone is coping with life.

We talk about how the body is feeling but there’s another layer that comes next.

How’s your family? Work stress? How’s your brain?

We get into ALL the things because it would be great if training existed in a bubble but the truth is it just doesn’t work that way.

The stress from that test for your MBA kept you up and the baby’s teething so you didn’t even get that one precious hour of sleep.

That is a workout.

So that’s where we start. We recover from it. Adjust and go from there.

All these things matter. They affect your life in very real and significant ways.

And if we ignore it, it’s just a matter of time before that candle burns out at both ends and there’s nothing left to light again.

So I’m going to ask…but you have to tell.

Give your coach all the information that made your day good or bad.

It matters. All of it matters. And together we can solve the unique little mystery that is you.

Sharpen Your Strengths

“Work your weakness.”  That’s what some “experts” love to say.  “Focus all your energy on the things you need to improve upon, or you’ll never get better.”  There’s a piece of truth to that but there’s also some missing wisdom here.  OWN YOUR STRENGTHS.  

I’m a strong closer in a race.  I used to call it a slow-starter but something as simple as reframing the way I thought about myself, helped me make a major change.  I realized that it took me a little longer to “warm up,” sometimes even 60 miles (100 milers run a VERY LONG TIME) but for me, that was going to be my secret weapon.  I started really training to maximize it.  I would force myself to kick and get faster the further into a run or race.  Why?  Because I knew I could.  Was I going to charge hard when the gun goes off and lead from the front? Nope.  That’s not my style.  But I love to hunt and will patiently wait a race out.  To go from 12th, to 10th, to 6th, to 1st or 2nd.  My strength is a slow grind that can take hours.  

So here’s my pro-tip to you:  Sharpen your strengths.  

I’m not saying skip the stuff you struggle with.  Not at all.  But for God sake, let’s stop taking the fun out of the health and fitness space.  Love to climb?  Charge it.  A daredevil on the descents? Bomb those downhills and don’t hold back.  I have a little saying I use, “Do what you do and do it the best.  And then fill in the cracks and edges with the rest.”  What’s your secret weapon?  What makes it truly yours?  This week, instead of fixing failures, let’s focus on your special strengths.  What are you known for?  And if you don’t know, it’s time to figure it out.  Find it.  Own it.  And then sharpen it like a tool.  Once you can do that, you’ll find the very best…you.

The Fog

I don’t even know if I’m climbing right now.  All I know is what’s 2 feet in front of my face and not a step beyond it.  It’s dark and it’s raining but honestly everything just seems like a dream.  The rain mixed with the fog and its distortion of headlamps has turned everything into a glittery haze and it’s becoming a blur.

This is not a typical race report and I won’t be outlining nutrition plans and what worked or what didn’t.  Instead I’m going to tell you a little story about giving up control when you can’t see what’s coming.  A love letter and a lesson taught from the smothering fog of the Grindstone 100. 

It only took about 45 minutes for the sun to completely disappear on the course and be replaced by various lamps as we started making our way UP one of the first and toughest climbs.  I was prepared for the darkness that a night start would bring.  I had multiple lamps and batteries and wasn’t going to let that turn into an excuse.  It didn’t take long to realize how different this race was going to be.  After we started climbing for a few minutes, it hit me that I couldn’t really see or even feel if we were going up and I DEFINITELY couldn’t tell for how long. People around me kept saying, “is this the start of the big climb?” and I thought, how do they even know we’re climbing?  That may seem silly but I’m not kidding when I say you couldn’t see a thing.  The fog began to fill up the trail and turned the views into a bizarre blend of orange and gray.  It was shortly after that when I realized I was unaware of what was on either side of me. Was I running on a mountainside single-track with sharp drops-off down a cliff? Or is this a back-country trail, surrounded by a thick forest? Who knows but after a few chilling moments of feeling wet and very windy gusts, I assumed I was cliff-side with nothing there to catch me.  That’s about the time I decided to stop playing that guessing game and shift my mind to something else.  My lights.  Ok.  So I’ve got this rotation of headlamps and waist lamps and they’re amazing and they’re working like a charm (at least this was in my brain at the time, when in reality there was no way to really see anything clearly but I was sure I had mastered this like an art form).  I was clicking on the headlamp when the rain would stop, and then switch to the waist light when the showers would roll in again.  It gave me something to focus on for a while and that system seemed to work just fine.  There was also the inability to really see anyone on this part of the course.  Many times you make friends during 100 miles and encounter the same people but when you start in darkness it’s hard to recognize anyone when all you can see is the backs of their shoes.  That created a different sort of solitude that I’d never felt in a race.   It was odd but as the night went on, it was almost a comfort.  I was alone.  Everything I needed at that very moment was right in front of my face.  I couldn’t worry about the next 2 miles or even ½ mile. And honestly who cared.  The climbs were relentless and the descents were rocky and slick.  The end.  The goal was to keep moving safely until the sun came up.  As we all made our way up and down and all around the mountainsides, I lost track of time and was completely unaware of when the sunrise was coming. I was totally lost in the moment and it was honestly perfect. 

My eyes were blurry and exhausted and I was covered in mud but that’s when I saw it.  A sliver of light between the trees.  I was on my way up to Reddish Knob, which is near the turnaround point and major milestone for the day.  Everything was about to change.  I’m not going to lie, I cried when the sun came up, even if my sunrise view was blown by the dense fog, that smothered us up there like a blanket.  But daylight brought a new energy and new excitement and I was really ready to race.

While the fog and darkness were physically and mentally draining, they’d given me a gift that night in the ability to only focus on exactly what I could see.  So, I made a deal with myself to treat the rest of the day the very same way.  There’s a phrase about 100 mile racing and it’s that “you live an entire life in one day.”  The highs and the lows and all the problems in between.  The distance teaches you what will break you but also how you can overcome and endure things as a version of you, you never thought you’d be.  I went on to finish that gorgeous race and had a pretty awesome day, but I truly believe that foggy night, taught me a life lesson I won’t soon forget.  You can’t control it.  You can’t change it.  And just like life, no matter how hard to try to work against it, at a certain point you take a deep breath, put your head down…and just go.

One Minute

There’s a loud cough.  Sweat’s dripping down your face and it stings, pouring into your eyes.  You sit down and ask yourself if you can get up in the next minute and repeat it, or will that be the moment when you call it quits for the day?

That 60 seconds is a long one.  While it physically feels short, it’s enough time to talk yourself in and out of just about anything.  Doubt creeps in, as you tell yourself it's been a hard week and you deserve a little break.  You didn’t sleep great or there's a lot going on at work.  You know the speech.  We’re masters at manipulating ourselves and it’s time to put those old habits to bed.  Making change is tough.  Getting better takes work.  Real work.  Hard work, and not the kind that always feels good and sends you home with a big smile on your face.  Nope.  Not even close.  Instead, the best way to become a better version, is to fail and figure it out.  Yep.  I said it.  Fail.  And then find the gaps and work to fill them in.  So what if you miss the last split time by a couple of seconds. Your hill repeats aren’t feeling fast enough or you had a meltdown on your long run this week.  The worst thing you can do is fear it and fall backwards.  Keep fighting for it and the work you’ve already achieved.  Make a promise to yourself that you'll go TOWARDS the tough instead of running the other way.  Let it fuel you.  Light a fire inside that only failure can find. 

That minute’s almost up and it’s time to make your move.  How bad do you want it?  What’s it going to be?

Happy Day

It’s been here through heartache and happiness.  A healer of sorts, when nothing else would do.  For over 20 years, I’ve been running through this life, racing, pacing, coaching and crewing and watching some of my favorite people fall in love with this sport too.  It’s a powerful tool to teach you about yourself and the things you’re willing to endure.  Running is NOT life but running can tell you a lot ABOUT life simply by the way youre willing to work.  So today, on this Global Running Day, I say thank you to the sport that made me.  It’s been a friend and kept me company through all life’s thrown this way.  Thank you to the people who meet me on the roads and mountains and everywhere in between.  Cheers to each and every one of you!

Must Be Nice

“Must be nice to..,” – and you just can stop right there with whatever else was coming next.  We’ve become a culture of folks who love to look at the other side of life and discount and discredit the hard work and sacrifices of others.  We assume our lives are SO much harder or busier than anyone else and we use the phrase, “it must be nice to…” justify our own shortcomings and tell ourselves we’d be just as accomplished or proud of ourselves if only..x,y,z.  I, personally, hear it a lot because I’m running coach and personal trainer and everyone assumes my job(s) is/are easy as pie.  I honestly don’t mind it and typically smile and nod when someone says it to me, but It becomes a problem to me when others use it to disparage someone else.  That stay-at-home parent “with all the free time,” or the teacher “who gets summers off” doesn’t have anything to do with you…or the person who runs their own business and “sets their own schedule” who can do whatever whenever they choose.  The couple with no kids who just “doesn’t understand how hard life is to manage”…

Listen, you have no idea the stresses in anyone else’s life but if your life’s so busy stop worrying about everyone else!!  The point of this post is to STOP undercutting others with this ridiculous little phrase because the truth is, you’re selling yourself short by letting yourself off the hook. You’re entitled to your own priorities and that’s the beauty of life.  We pick and choose the goal for today, tomorrow and forever and it’s time we start to own it. 

So, from now on the only way to use the phrase is to say, “it’s pretty nice to be me, because it’s my own life and I choose exactly how I’m going to live it..” Now THAT’S a powerful belief and you’ll be surprised what happens when you claim it!

Higher Standard

Happy 2018.  It’s been a minute, I know.  I’ll be honest with you here, I got a little bogged down in life,  and writing just wasn’t on “the list.”  That was silly and I’m sorry.  But I’m here now, so here goes.

You’re tired.  It’s 8pm.  Your run is waiting and you’re having that conversation with yourself that keeps popping up more than you’d care to admit.  “It’s too late to do this run.  Maybe I can make it up tomorrow.. it’s probably better to do that than to do it now because it’s so late…”

Man.. we are masters at manipulating our own minds, right?  We can talk ourselves into and out of so many things and most of the time, we know what we’re going to do before that internal talk starts taking place.  It’s not abnormal but you better have a game plan before you lose the will to work and that inner voice starts calling the shots.  It starts giving you a pass on the things you’ve never passed on and letting you off the hook for the hard days because it’s easier than toughing it out.  You better reign it in today.  Right now.  Those habits die hard and I can promise you, you’ll never look back and say, “man I’m so glad I phoned it in.”  Get up.  When it’s cold. Just get up.  When you’re tired, just get up.  Take 5 seconds and say to yourself, “just do the damn thing.”  Remove the “out.”  It no longer exists.  You owe it to yourself to follow through.  You’re worth more than you realize and more than so many other things that get your time and attention. 

It’s a brand new year and we’ve got so much to do! I’m here to help and we’ll all struggle side by side but - promise me you’ll hold yourself to a new standard too.  We’re going to do this thing.  We’re all in it together and I can’t wait to take this journey with you! Cheers to a new trip around the sun.

The Real Goal

I felt this pain ripping through me.  I was immediately nauseous and I realized there was a tear that rolled down my cheek and onto my lap.  I’d felt these feelings before but it’s certainly been a while and I was not looking forward to what was coming next.  I’m not talking about physical pain.  I’m describing literal heart sickness after learning my plans for the end of the year would probably be drastically different.  Why? Because my body was forcing me to fight…again.  And again. 

As a running coach, my job is often anything BUT a running coach.  Of course, there are racing plans and programs designed to make folks faster but there’s a huge portion of my time devoted to just talking to my athletes about life and how to get them to their maximum potential when the world just gets in the way.  I’m used to working in “tight spaces.”  Not literal spaces but the places where people put their training and it’s often sandwiched right next to a super stressful board meeting, 2 kid soccer games, a flat tire and…a surgery.  Life doesn’t care. Not one bit. So it’s my job to help people navigate training and life and get them where they want to go.  That’s my job, right?  So why was the thought of my own surgery so nauseating?  It might be different than you think.

Full disclosure here – I keep my writing very real.  I’m a pretty private person but for much of my postings, you’ll get a real glimpse at who I really am.  I share because I’m not only a coach but a real athlete and my experience may help someone else down the road.

Whew! Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way – here goes:

I set big goals and sometimes I don’t always hit the mark.  I think that’s a big part of being an athlete and a part of competition that makes you better.   If you dream big enough, you’re probably going to fail a few times but that’s when the magic happens and the real transformations typically take place.  I had big goals for myself this year and the thought of failure was there but I was happy to hold that pressure on my back.  It was exciting to try something that could totally go up in flames…but man… I’d still have an awesome experience and the knowledge to help me go back and try again later.  High on hopes, I was training right along and having some of the best big mountain runs I’d had in a while, but then – (and you know how these sentences go) things just…weren’t.  After tests and a few different doctors, we determined that some things I’d been dealing with for a while weren’t just a)coincidences and b)going to just go away.  It was time to “pull the trigger.” I’d known about a growth in my abdomen for a while, but the wrong doctor let it go for far too long and by a certain point, the damage had been done.  It was huge and it was not going anywhere any time soon.  I’d been battling anemia for months and I’d been dealing with pain from a body that just wanted it out.  The writing was on the wall and all I really needed was the right doctor to tell me the truth – it was time. 

Why’s that a tough pill for me to swallow?  Because I’ve been here before and quite honestly -it sucked.  As a cancer survivor, I’ve lived through what could best be described as a “hope hiatus,” which is a far cry from that earlier description of being high on my “hopes and dreams.”  It’s hard to find the will to get out of bed, much less run, when you feel like your body turned its back on you…time and time again.  I was afraid to go back to “this place” because in my former life, it was a dark and heartbreaking time for me.  The thought of surgery was daunting for so many reasons and I was honestly pretty angry that, of course, right at a time when I was making the biggest plans, my body said, “nope, not in the cards for you Mary Cates.”

But then something amazing happened.  It’s as if all the years of forcing my body to fight had finally paid off.  It trained me for what was coming next.  There was a sense of calm and I made peace with it.  Suddenly the recovery time didn’t scare the hell out of me, but instead made perfect sense.

 I’m writing this, while I’m still uncleared to run and I’ll be honest, I feel no anxiety about it…at all.  I feel life anxiety, but that’s normal.  But I believe my running reality will be right where I left it when I come knocking at its door.  I preach a pretty simple practice of kindness and it’s that kindness comes back to you if you share it throughout the world.  I think this is a lesson in loving myself and being an example of that to others.  I’ll achieve the things I planned to achieve.  And now, I honestly believe that even more.  There’s a sense of calm and security and right now, I totally trust my body in a way I’ve never felt before. 

Maybe THIS was really the goal all along.   

I’ll keep you with me on the journey, but don’t worry, my postings won’t be solely focused on this.  I just felt the need to be transparent and give you a glimpse of what I’m dealing with. 

Cheers!

The Relationship

It’s hot and I’m sore and I can feel the muscles in my legs as they start to scream “we’re beat gal…maybe today’s just not the day.”  But the brain’s a powerful thing and I’ve managed to flip the switch to my thunder thighs when they think it’s time for a break.  It’s a quiet conversation I have with myself that often turns into a shouting match in the blink of an eye.  There’s passion there.  It’s honestly one of my first true loves.  And it’s the thing that knows me best.  All the good…and the bad.  When I’m strongest and when I crumble in a lump on the dirt at the base of a mountain or by some gorgeous lake.  It knows why I’m tired or hurting…because I’ve been here before and I’ll be here again.  But that’s just it.  Running can take us so many places and it can help us feel things we’ve never felt before.  The highs are amazing but the lows will tear you apart.  Disappointment like nothing you’ve ever felt.  It’s like telling a friend you forgot their birthday and you’re sorry, but somehow you know you’ll never erase the guilt or even the shame.  We attach an identity to our runs and our racing.  It becomes us and somehow it can dictate how we spend most of our time.  Hours and hours... and hours of our time.  So on this Global Running Day, I send a prayer of gratitude out to my good friend, “the run.”  Thank you for sharing the miles, the laughter, the tears and even the pain.  You’ve been a rock solid constant in my life and I wouldn’t be me without you.  Cheers to so much more of the same.

Fear Friday: Volume 1

What are you afraid of when it comes to your running, training, and racing?  And if you say, “nothing,” then I’ve got news for you – you should probably set bigger goals.  You’ve heard the adage, “Do something that scares you,” and while it’s a little cliché’, there’s definitely some magic in those scary moments.  When you decide to take a risk and put your comfort, pride, and peace of mind aside, the fear of failure becomes…well…a lot less scary. 

So – each Friday, I’ll be asking you what’s your biggest fear when it comes to your training and I’ll respond to some of your feedback with some tips to help you do battle with your brain.

Let’s jump right in:

Last week I heard a very similar theme so I’m going to address the idea all at once: 

Fear of falling apart in the middle of a race.

You might think it’s a common battle for only the distance runner, but the reality is any distance has a beginning, middle and end.  Some of the hardest races to finish are the shortest and the fastest because there’s just no room for error. 

So – the first thing you’d expect me to say is to “be prepared on race day,” and while that’s obviously important, that’s not where we’re going today.  In fact, I want to go the opposite way - BE PREPARED TO BE…UNPREPARED.

We spend hours and hours pounding pavement, but we don’t devote the same amount of time to developing our brains.  So here are a few things to add to the toolbox while training for your next race:

1)Hard things WILL happen.  We all dream of those perfect race days.  Perfect weather.  Perfect planning and of course that perfect PR!  But let’s be real, life doesn’t care about your Boston qualifier or whether you made the first aid station cut-off at the end of the day.  More than likely your race day may be faced with fun things like a rushed sprint to get to the start,  or your dropped all your gu’s at mile 2 so now what do you do? or you were up all night because the kids have the flu.  It’s life.  I get it but the best way to plan for this is expect it from the start.  That may sound pessimistic, but trust me it’s the most therapeutic thing you can do for your race day performance.

2)Yeah it’s hard – now what.  Be present.  Be right in that very minute.  And be willing to be uncomfortable until that time has passed.  We have a tendency to “zone out.”  Out of sight, out of mind, right?  Well, for me, in this case I say wrong.  When the mind wanders it eventually comes back and when it’s back, any little ache or pain hits you in the face.  But if your brain’s engaged in every step, every breath, every drink of water that you take, you gain responsibility for your body in a whole new way.  Make mental notes of everything you feel and make adjustments all throughout the race.  When the hard times hit, be there and be aware because no one knows your body better than you and honestly no one else can save the day.  

3)Treat it like a job.  Today, the race is just what you have to do.  We’ve all had those days, where it seemed like it was impossible just to get it all done. You’re tired.  You’re hungry and you’re emotionally spent.  Sounds like the end of most marathons I usually run.  So - Dial it in.  Treat it like your job.  Get it done and then celebrate when you’re heading to the house.  Don’t over rationalize it or make it more complicated than it has to be.   Just GET IT DONE. 

4)Remember – there are chapters to any race.  It’s easy to let a rough patch, turn into a bad half and then the entire effort falls apart right before your eyes.  Instead, accept a bump and move on.  Dwelling doesn’t do any athlete or human any good. “Fix it. Then finish it.”  It’s a mantra I’ve used for myself during many a race.  Don’t sulk or pout or be angry about the day.  Dust yourself off and get back in it.  You’d be amazed how your brain can truly save an entire race.

5)Visualize BEFORE the race. This is a biggie for me.  I insist that most athletes spend some quality time visualizing before a race.  The trick is to be specific and go all in or the benefits won’t be the same.  Everything from hearing your alarm clock to having a plan if your quads cramp around mile 8.  Try to really see, hear, and feel those things and have a plan long before your race day.

Stay tuned for another “Fear Friday” next week. 

Cheers.

Afraid to Win

We're a society of big goal setters. We make big plans and announce them to the world with hopes they’ll hold us accountable.  We want to achieve great things and yet many times our big plans become big disappointments.  Those let-downs are part of life and the “rational you” understands it but the “emotional you” wants to protect yourself from ever feeling it again.  You don’t want to risk it…the risk of failing and feeling that empty spot where your hard work left you far away from where you thought you were supposed to be. 

So what happens next?  We self-sabotage.  Whether we know it or not, the fear of failing keeps us tucked in safely and watching from the side.  It’s really not a fear of failure so much as it’s a fear…of letting yourself win.  “Um..no,”  you might say to me, but hear me out while I explain.  We’ve been burned before and we know the heartache that comes when the bottom falls out and there's no win in sight.. but…if you succeed, there’s another little piece of this puzzle that is equally terrifying: EXPECTATION.  If you win, then guess what?  From now on, that’s just what you’re supposed to do.  (that's not reality but it is according to your mind) but that’s a real fear and a pressure that we often don’t even acknowledge is happening in our lives.  Whether it’s training for a race or dealing with a difficult relationship – we know that once we hit a certain level of success, there’s the pressure to perform every single time you toe the line.  Except there’s not.  What’s so hard to see is the benefit of falling and finding your footing to get back up and start all over again.  Nobody gets great by always being great.  The greats get great by saying, “I know I’m not going to succeed every single day, but if I don’t ever try I’ll definitely never win.”  There are countless face-first falls you probably never see but tenacity to get back up separates the winners from the rest.  You don’t have to finish first to win the race.  Just walk away with the knowledge that you didn’t sell yourself short when the gun went off that day.  Don’t negotiate deals with yourself or give yourself an out.  Show up to win and keep the promise that you made.  Only you control the lesson that you’ll take away.  Don’t be your worst enemy because if that’s the case you’ll never beat your own brain.  Instead be your biggest fan and tell yourself you’re getting out alive, because after all...wasn’t that the most important part of your grand plan?

Running Away

Running is a gift.  It’s a gift we give ourselves.  I’m lucky enough to be a coach so it’s a gift I can also give away.  It’s something we do to keep our bodies healthy but it’s also something we do to clear the mind.  It’s a beautiful thing when you stop to think about it.  It’s a chance to get outside and explore the world around you…on foot.  The cliché’ saying is “running is cheaper than therapy.”  I actually think it’s a nice compliment to quality couch time ;)

But..what happens when the time you spend on your run becomes the time you can’t seem to break free from your brain?  Full disclosure time…because I write to help others through my experience as a coach and a human.  I suffer from clinical depression.  Those closest to me know this already… but many would never have a clue.  It’s something I’ve dealt with for a while and it creates different challenges every day…but the point of this post is to talk about the role it played and still plays in my running. 

Everyone tells you to go for a run and just “clear your mind.”  One of the “gifts” you get from depression is the inability to do just that.  Your mind races with everything from anxiety to guilt about a laundry list of things that may or may not be warranted, but nonetheless, it’s intense.  I would find myself getting angry and bitter because I was being robbed of the only time in the day when I could really focus on me.  My runs became less about finding my pace and more about fighting back tears.  The anxiety turned to dread which turned to fear and then to guilt.  Why couldn’t I just get up and do the work?  Why couldn’t I just turn off my brain and be…better?  It’s hard to step back and realize it’s the illness and not something you’re doing wrong.  I’m also a cancer survivor and there’s something powerful about that title that makes you feel tough enough to take on the world.  “I beat this deadly disease.  Why can’t I just be me again?”  We all wish it worked that way, but sometimes, it just doesn’t. 

So, why am I sharing this post with you today?  Because I have a feeling that many of my running friends and family face similar situations every day.  And today I want to help.  I’m not a doctor or a therapist but I am an athlete who continues to train and race through it and I’m working hard to make sure my life is still my own.  So here are some of my suggestions if you find yourself in the same situation:

First and foremost – Don’t be afraid to get help:  Even if it’s just talking to your family physician.  If you’re feeling a sense of sadness that never seems to go away, tell them.  The good news is you don’t have to feel this way forever.  With the help of a good mental health professional and the proper treatment protocol, you can work your way back to "you."

Don’t be afraid to push:  Therapy is great but so is a hard run.  There are times when I say to myself, “I needed to hurt to remind myself that I’m still here.”  We can find ourselves feeling numb from time to time.  A hard run can knock the numb right out of you and get your body and your brain back on track. 

Support group:  For some athletes, running with a group can be the best medicine because it gets you out of the house and around people who share the same passions as you.  You don’t have to talk about yourself and you can listen to others, while you wander around your city streets with your peeps.  There’s also something about having a group of people to hold you accountable.  It gives you more motivation to show up instead of going home and crawling under the covers on the days that depression says “you should probably be alone.” 

Be Alone: now to completely contradict what I just said about finding your group – there are times when you need to do the work by your lonesome.  These runs are the hardest but they’re also the ones where the magic happens when it comes to facing down “the demons.”  I’ve worked through some of the most difficult times by having hard conversations with myself while winding around a rocky mountain trail.  It can be brutal but also beautiful because you’re solving problems on a run but also in your mind.  You come face to face with what’s really going on and there’s definitely nowhere to hide. 

Be present:  Depression is a cruel disease.  It’s unlike cancer or other illnesses and many times it’s overlooked and underdiagnosed.  It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the weight of it but it’s so important to stay focused on the “here and the now.”  Take each day, each run, each step…just as it comes.  You can’t get caught up in the stress that snowballs and steals the joy from the things you love the most. 

Be patient:  There will be days you find it hard to get out of bed…and you know what?  That is perfectly ok.  Be kind to yourself and the people who support and love you.  Go for a run and get outside but know it’s ok to cut yourself some slack when the weight of the world becomes a little too much. 

Again, I’m no doctor or therapist but I am runner in the real world, who’s biggest goal is to make sure my athletes, my friends and family and other coaches understand that it’s ok if you’re struggling...and there is help.  You don’t have to give up the things you love, but your perspective may change and that’s not always a bad thing.  Be kind to each other.  Be aware if someone around you is struggling.  But most of all, be willing to ask for help.  It’s there.  You just have to accept it. 

The Perfect Crew

Who’s in your crew?  Runners need a little help from time to time, whether it’s a training partner or someone to keep you sane when the worst of the race starts to rear its ugly head.  It’s true for just about any distance but especially as the miles start piling up.  Runners can experience every emotion you can imagine and the right or wrong crew-mate can be the difference between a strong finish and a long walk back to the car. 

So what does it take to be a qualified member of a crew?  The number 1 requirement – overall – the day is all about the athlete trying to achieve a goal.  If the support team isn’t on the same page, there’s no reason to show up at all. 

There are so many things that make a great crew member, but here are just a few more:

-Don’t allow pity parties.  Remind your runner they’re getting an opportunity to do something amazing that many people will never get the chance to do.  An objective “cut the shit” moment can be exactly what a runner needs to save a race from becoming a really bad day.

-Sometimes you have to lie…and that’s ok.  For example, if it’s a hot race and your runner wants to know just exactly HOW HOT…that’s the perfect time to practice the art of storytelling. I’m not a fan of fabrication – unless it’s lying about the heat.  Or the cold.  Or just about anything that’s really out of the runner’s control.  You be the judge and know your athlete, but telling them it’s a warm 80 degrees instead of 95 isn’t going to cause anyone any harm. 

-If you’re pacing a runner, it’s important to keep them present at all times.  70 miles left in a 100mile run can be overwhelming.  10 miles to go in a half marathon can feel exactly the same way.  Don’t let them get too caught up in the numbers.  Instead, focus on what’s going on right at that very moment.  It goes a long way towards getting them to a happy and healthy finish.   

-Last but definitely not least -- don’t forget to have fun.  A good old fashioned belly laugh can be the best medicine for a rough spot in the middle of a run.  

Remember, being a part of someone’s “support crew” can be one of the coolest things about the community and the sport.  You get the opportunity to see people at their highest of highs and lowest of lows.  Treat it with respect and don’t take it lightly.  They’re allowing and entrusting you with the care of all the hard work and effort they’ve put towards achieving a goal.  Give it your all because you’ve got a job to do and if you do it right, it’s honestly like crossing a finish line of your own. 

Responsibility

It’s not going so well for you lately.  You’re getting up every day and doing the work, but let’s face it, you’re doing the bare minimum.  You’re even tweaking your workouts because today's just not your day.  Ok.  It’s time to get real for a minute.  We’ve all been there but something separates the mind of an athlete from someone who’s content just coasting along – responsibility. 

Responsibility gives you guilt for those days you didn’t give it your best.  In fact, it leaves you hungry for next time, so you can come back and prove yourself wrong.  Now hear me out, I’m all for listening to your body and dialing it back from time to time.  You can ask the folks I coach, if something’s off, we’ll talk about it and make adjustments… BUT…there’s a line…Especially when there’s a race looming on the other side.  Being a racer takes a lot of dedication.  It’s definitely not for the faint of heart.  When I say “racer,” I’m not referring to times or speed by any means, but I am referring to dedication and the willingness to do work.  There are specific things you need to do to make your body respond when the gun goes off.  Everything from eating right to getting enough sleep, and that’s on top of getting your butt to the track before work, if that’s the only time you can get it done. 

BUT – there’s another layer of responsibility that many people tend to forget – that’s the ability to take ownership when something goes wrong.  I can tell you that a weak mind will always look to others to place blame.  If your speed workout fell flat, it’s easy to rattle off 10 excuses but at the end of the day, it all comes back to you.  We’ve become so comfortable with finding “outs” that they’ll all eventually become a crutch.  Instead of working on a weakness, we ignore it and then denial sets in and it’s everyone else’s problem – not our own.  That’s a really common way to coast through life, but it’s not a common trait of people who succeed.  So get up, and stop looking for someone else to fix it because chances are you already know what happened and ignored it from the start.  Just own yourself – truly own you.  Take responsibility but even more – take pride- pride in the work and progress you’ve made to get yourself this far.  

Accept The Struggle

“Mind is everything.  Muscle –pieces of rubber.  All that I am, I am because of my mind.” – Paavo Nurmi, middle distance running legend and holder of more than a dozen world records. 

We live in a time when we’re constantly trying to find the faster, easier way for everything.  We want to save time, cut corners, and streamline our lives so we can have more time to fill with more “stuff.”  We’re busy, don’t you know?  So much to do.  So little time.  We’ve got to make things…easier.  Easier.  What if we spent more time doing what’s really hard?  Now that’s a different way of looking at it, right?  Seeking out the things that are most difficult so that we’re as prepared for the tough stuff as we possibly can be?  It’s pretty much the exact opposite of how most of us operate.  As athletes, we’re almost always capable of more than we ask of ourselves.  We train right up the point of being uncomfortable and that’s when the brain just says, “nope – I’m out.”  Sometimes we’ll push just beyond it, but we’re really quick to jump back to the “softer” side as soon as we can.  It’s the human condition.  But…it doesn’t have to be.  The first quote in this blog says, “mind is everything,” so it’s time to start flexing those mental muscles.  We have to train the brain. 

There’s a Finnish term called Sisu and it’s loosely translated into the American term of “perseverance” or  better yet, “guts.”  James Clear is a Behavioral Psychologist who writes about Sisu and mental toughness and what it means to find that inner strength.  He explains that Sisu is the concept of “taking action in the face of adversity” and it’s what gives us that extra push when most people would otherwise back down.  But how can you test your Sisu?  The answer is simple: You accept struggle. 

We could all benefit from a little more struggle in our lives.  We don’t want to believe it but it’s true.  Those tests and challenges – that’s when our true character is revealed.  PR’s will fall and we’ll get faster but something bigger than that takes place - we become better people.  There’s a lot of power in a little pain and perseverance.  It strips away the pride and the ego and leaves behind something amazing - a person pushing to be the best they can be.  We can’t achieve the same feeling if it’s easy.  It doesn’t have to be a sport or a race.  It’s the same in most any aspect of life.  If you’re always looking for the easiest way, you’re almost guaranteed to miss out on the best life has to offer.  There’s so much satisfaction in saying, “I can’t believe I really just did that, but I did.” This is Sisu. 

“It is a type of mental toughness that allows you to bear the burden of your responsibilities, whatever they happen to be, with a will and perseverance that is unbreakable… it is what you rely on when you feel like you have nothing left.” – James Clear

Are you ready to flex your mental muscles?  Find out how strong you really are?  There’s a sweet reward waiting on the other side of suffering, it just depends on how much you’re willing to endure.