Wonder in the Work

That podium feels so good.

Right next to that PR.  

We all love a win or at least to beat our former best selves but when that feeling fades and the glory’s gone.. what’s left but the work?

Do you still love it? 

Do you love the lonely runs?

The cold and rainy ones where no one cares if you stole a Strava segment and you’re just out there alone with your thoughts.

Learn to love it.  

To live in it when there’s no one coming to tell you you’re great. 

When it’s you against you, there’s just nothing to lose and that’s where the magic takes place. 

The little things, they make us better.

But doing them day in and day out takes patience and grace.  

You can earn it but you can’t keep it.

It will catch you, just like life.  Just like a race. 

There’s wonder in the work if you’re willing to find it but it ain’t pretty or for the faint of heart.

It takes courage to cross the finish line, 

But even more to survey the scene, pick up the pieces and then make your way all the way back to the start. 

To Be A Coach

“We have a heartbeat.”

Powerful words from an athlete who’s been trying to start a family for some time, despite grief and loss.  Over several months, we shifted training to take on new meaning as she coped and tried to process it all and try again. 

A family choosing to open their home to a pair of foster kids who needed love and patience, all while raising two young kids of their own.  This meant training changes but doesn’t have to mean it stops.  It was a time to take a step back and control the controllables when everything else felt like chaos. 

These are just examples of what coaching REALLY means.  The hard conversations about fueling to help an athlete regain a period for the first time in far too long or being the person to give guidance as a runner comes back from Covid so we aren’t sidelined for weeks, from things that could’ve been prevented with a gentle come-back approach. 

I do this because I love it. 

Folks get faster and stronger but we also work on LIFE.  We don’t train in a bubble and our real-world obligations don’t care if it’s time to PR.  Training does help us handle stress but training IS stress and it’s hard to separate the pair when we can’t see the forest for the trees.  

A good coach knows about your life.  They know your strengths and weaknesses and they lift you up BUT they’re also that place to land when the bottom falls out, from a big swing that didn’t go your way.  

I love coaching and I love learning the ins-and-outs of athletes as we all line up to race this life.  It’s a gift and I’m honored every day.  Thank you for letting me be a part of your life-long race plan.

Photo credit: Nathan Alexander  

Expect To Be Exposed

Racing is a vulnerable thing. Lining up to compete will test the will of most athletes. But that’s the point of training. We work to be comfortable in discomfort. To manage nerves. To go to that place.. you know the one. And just .. sit there. Just sit right in the middle of that mental mess and try to make magic happen.

One of my favorite runners of all time, Des Linden, put it simply: “expect to be exposed.” Ain’t that the truth. But man, do I love that.

That’s a part of training we don’t talk about enough. The best workouts are physically hard AND test your mind at the same time. You gotta know when to push and when to hold back. And you’ve also gotta know when it’s just not your day.

But.. the work’s gotta be worth it. You’ve gotta love the process of pushing and pulling or the highs and lows will never be enough. You’ll keep running but the well goes dry. And there’s not enough Instagram likes to get you back on the line.

If you don’t love the journey, don’t worry, it’s gonna show.
Expect to be exposed.

Start From Scratch

I was a television news producer in my former life. Each day was a blank page and an opportunity to tell the stories of the communities I covered. I loved it. When you get to give a voice to people who depend on you AND make sure they’re more informed than the day before, you go home feeling satisfied. I loved to listen to viewers and tell their stories. And no two days were alike.

Now I use those skills every day as coach but at no time more than when there’s a need to go back to the drawing board. It can be scary but there’s also freedom in a brand new day, new run, new training cycle or brand new approach.

Sometimes we get so set in our ways or stuck in a routine. And we’re afraid. We’re afraid to change course because we’re so far in, and it would feel like giving up.

BUT… that’s the problem.

That’s not what giving up looks like. Instead, it takes courage to step back and start over. To look at where you’ve been and decide it’s time to take a different path.

In tv, I’d spend all day working on a show and then we’d have breaking news and the whole day’s work goes down the drain. Except it doesn’t. Every story I wrote was still important and every change of course created skills I never knew I needed until I did. You see, life AND training aren’t static. We are living, breathing creatures and our training has to be the same. Consistency is always key and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. But if it’s not working, don’t be afraid to scrap it and start from scratch.

Each day is a blank script and YOU get to write it. It’s your story and only you can change the way it ends.

Sharpen Your Strengths

“Work your weakness.”  That’s what some “experts” love to say.  “Focus all your energy on the things you need to improve upon, or you’ll never get better.”  There’s a piece of truth to that but there’s also some missing wisdom here.  OWN YOUR STRENGTHS.  

I’m a strong closer in a race.  I used to call it a slow-starter but something as simple as reframing the way I thought about myself, helped me make a major change.  I realized that it took me a little longer to “warm up,” sometimes even 60 miles (100 milers run a VERY LONG TIME) but for me, that was going to be my secret weapon.  I started really training to maximize it.  I would force myself to kick and get faster the further into a run or race.  Why?  Because I knew I could.  Was I going to charge hard when the gun goes off and lead from the front? Nope.  That’s not my style.  But I love to hunt and will patiently wait a race out.  To go from 12th, to 10th, to 6th, to 1st or 2nd.  My strength is a slow grind that can take hours.  

So here’s my pro-tip to you:  Sharpen your strengths.  

I’m not saying skip the stuff you struggle with.  Not at all.  But for God sake, let’s stop taking the fun out of the health and fitness space.  Love to climb?  Charge it.  A daredevil on the descents? Bomb those downhills and don’t hold back.  I have a little saying I use, “Do what you do and do it the best.  And then fill in the cracks and edges with the rest.”  What’s your secret weapon?  What makes it truly yours?  This week, instead of fixing failures, let’s focus on your special strengths.  What are you known for?  And if you don’t know, it’s time to figure it out.  Find it.  Own it.  And then sharpen it like a tool.  Once you can do that, you’ll find the very best…you.

The Fog

I don’t even know if I’m climbing right now.  All I know is what’s 2 feet in front of my face and not a step beyond it.  It’s dark and it’s raining but honestly everything just seems like a dream.  The rain mixed with the fog and its distortion of headlamps has turned everything into a glittery haze and it’s becoming a blur.

This is not a typical race report and I won’t be outlining nutrition plans and what worked or what didn’t.  Instead I’m going to tell you a little story about giving up control when you can’t see what’s coming.  A love letter and a lesson taught from the smothering fog of the Grindstone 100. 

It only took about 45 minutes for the sun to completely disappear on the course and be replaced by various lamps as we started making our way UP one of the first and toughest climbs.  I was prepared for the darkness that a night start would bring.  I had multiple lamps and batteries and wasn’t going to let that turn into an excuse.  It didn’t take long to realize how different this race was going to be.  After we started climbing for a few minutes, it hit me that I couldn’t really see or even feel if we were going up and I DEFINITELY couldn’t tell for how long. People around me kept saying, “is this the start of the big climb?” and I thought, how do they even know we’re climbing?  That may seem silly but I’m not kidding when I say you couldn’t see a thing.  The fog began to fill up the trail and turned the views into a bizarre blend of orange and gray.  It was shortly after that when I realized I was unaware of what was on either side of me. Was I running on a mountainside single-track with sharp drops-off down a cliff? Or is this a back-country trail, surrounded by a thick forest? Who knows but after a few chilling moments of feeling wet and very windy gusts, I assumed I was cliff-side with nothing there to catch me.  That’s about the time I decided to stop playing that guessing game and shift my mind to something else.  My lights.  Ok.  So I’ve got this rotation of headlamps and waist lamps and they’re amazing and they’re working like a charm (at least this was in my brain at the time, when in reality there was no way to really see anything clearly but I was sure I had mastered this like an art form).  I was clicking on the headlamp when the rain would stop, and then switch to the waist light when the showers would roll in again.  It gave me something to focus on for a while and that system seemed to work just fine.  There was also the inability to really see anyone on this part of the course.  Many times you make friends during 100 miles and encounter the same people but when you start in darkness it’s hard to recognize anyone when all you can see is the backs of their shoes.  That created a different sort of solitude that I’d never felt in a race.   It was odd but as the night went on, it was almost a comfort.  I was alone.  Everything I needed at that very moment was right in front of my face.  I couldn’t worry about the next 2 miles or even ½ mile. And honestly who cared.  The climbs were relentless and the descents were rocky and slick.  The end.  The goal was to keep moving safely until the sun came up.  As we all made our way up and down and all around the mountainsides, I lost track of time and was completely unaware of when the sunrise was coming. I was totally lost in the moment and it was honestly perfect. 

My eyes were blurry and exhausted and I was covered in mud but that’s when I saw it.  A sliver of light between the trees.  I was on my way up to Reddish Knob, which is near the turnaround point and major milestone for the day.  Everything was about to change.  I’m not going to lie, I cried when the sun came up, even if my sunrise view was blown by the dense fog, that smothered us up there like a blanket.  But daylight brought a new energy and new excitement and I was really ready to race.

While the fog and darkness were physically and mentally draining, they’d given me a gift that night in the ability to only focus on exactly what I could see.  So, I made a deal with myself to treat the rest of the day the very same way.  There’s a phrase about 100 mile racing and it’s that “you live an entire life in one day.”  The highs and the lows and all the problems in between.  The distance teaches you what will break you but also how you can overcome and endure things as a version of you, you never thought you’d be.  I went on to finish that gorgeous race and had a pretty awesome day, but I truly believe that foggy night, taught me a life lesson I won’t soon forget.  You can’t control it.  You can’t change it.  And just like life, no matter how hard to try to work against it, at a certain point you take a deep breath, put your head down…and just go.

Higher Standard

Happy 2018.  It’s been a minute, I know.  I’ll be honest with you here, I got a little bogged down in life,  and writing just wasn’t on “the list.”  That was silly and I’m sorry.  But I’m here now, so here goes.

You’re tired.  It’s 8pm.  Your run is waiting and you’re having that conversation with yourself that keeps popping up more than you’d care to admit.  “It’s too late to do this run.  Maybe I can make it up tomorrow.. it’s probably better to do that than to do it now because it’s so late…”

Man.. we are masters at manipulating our own minds, right?  We can talk ourselves into and out of so many things and most of the time, we know what we’re going to do before that internal talk starts taking place.  It’s not abnormal but you better have a game plan before you lose the will to work and that inner voice starts calling the shots.  It starts giving you a pass on the things you’ve never passed on and letting you off the hook for the hard days because it’s easier than toughing it out.  You better reign it in today.  Right now.  Those habits die hard and I can promise you, you’ll never look back and say, “man I’m so glad I phoned it in.”  Get up.  When it’s cold. Just get up.  When you’re tired, just get up.  Take 5 seconds and say to yourself, “just do the damn thing.”  Remove the “out.”  It no longer exists.  You owe it to yourself to follow through.  You’re worth more than you realize and more than so many other things that get your time and attention. 

It’s a brand new year and we’ve got so much to do! I’m here to help and we’ll all struggle side by side but - promise me you’ll hold yourself to a new standard too.  We’re going to do this thing.  We’re all in it together and I can’t wait to take this journey with you! Cheers to a new trip around the sun.

Afraid to Win

We're a society of big goal setters. We make big plans and announce them to the world with hopes they’ll hold us accountable.  We want to achieve great things and yet many times our big plans become big disappointments.  Those let-downs are part of life and the “rational you” understands it but the “emotional you” wants to protect yourself from ever feeling it again.  You don’t want to risk it…the risk of failing and feeling that empty spot where your hard work left you far away from where you thought you were supposed to be. 

So what happens next?  We self-sabotage.  Whether we know it or not, the fear of failing keeps us tucked in safely and watching from the side.  It’s really not a fear of failure so much as it’s a fear…of letting yourself win.  “Um..no,”  you might say to me, but hear me out while I explain.  We’ve been burned before and we know the heartache that comes when the bottom falls out and there's no win in sight.. but…if you succeed, there’s another little piece of this puzzle that is equally terrifying: EXPECTATION.  If you win, then guess what?  From now on, that’s just what you’re supposed to do.  (that's not reality but it is according to your mind) but that’s a real fear and a pressure that we often don’t even acknowledge is happening in our lives.  Whether it’s training for a race or dealing with a difficult relationship – we know that once we hit a certain level of success, there’s the pressure to perform every single time you toe the line.  Except there’s not.  What’s so hard to see is the benefit of falling and finding your footing to get back up and start all over again.  Nobody gets great by always being great.  The greats get great by saying, “I know I’m not going to succeed every single day, but if I don’t ever try I’ll definitely never win.”  There are countless face-first falls you probably never see but tenacity to get back up separates the winners from the rest.  You don’t have to finish first to win the race.  Just walk away with the knowledge that you didn’t sell yourself short when the gun went off that day.  Don’t negotiate deals with yourself or give yourself an out.  Show up to win and keep the promise that you made.  Only you control the lesson that you’ll take away.  Don’t be your worst enemy because if that’s the case you’ll never beat your own brain.  Instead be your biggest fan and tell yourself you’re getting out alive, because after all...wasn’t that the most important part of your grand plan?

Busting a Rut

It’s easy to get comfortable.  Doing the same things you’ve always done…over and over.  We’re creatures of habit after all.  We all do it and it’s usually because it’s the path of least resistance… or less thought.  You run the exact same route, day after or day, eat the same foods, see the same people, think the same things… you see how this can trickle down to everything else in your life without a second thought.  But, what happens when you wake up one morning and that old routine you once loved so much wasn’t what you really wanted at all?  In fact, the thought of it actually makes you sick.  That sounds dramatic, right? However, I’m pretty sure every person reading this right now has felt the exact same way. 

Example – I don’t always listen to music when I run but when I do, I set these different playlists for certain runs.  I love taking the time to pick the perfect songs and make the music flow exactly how I’d like it to be. I love those playlists and I’ll hit certain parts of a run and that specific song will come on and it’s like I expected it.  That’s my jam!  I knew it was going to be the thing to serenade me to the top of that hill…..   and then, at some point over a period of time, that song makes me want to scream.  “Ugh..I hate this song! You’re the worst One Republic! If I hear this again, I’m just going to lay down in the middle of my run and cry!”  Ok, that may be a little dramatic, but you get the point.  What happens next? I take my headphones off.  I leave them at home for the next several weeks. 

That’s a small example but it can make or break your runs.  It can challenge you, just like getting off the roads if you’re a roadie.  Heading for more hills if you’re always looking for the fastest, flattest course you can find.  The goal of this blog is to help you think about ways to become more mentally tough and one way is to step out of your comfort zone.  Let go of that control.  Find the things that scare you and then just sit there...just wait there until you’re not afraid any more.  That’s when the magic happens. That’s when real change takes place.  Yes, it might be uncomfortable or difficult at first but that’s the beauty of busting a rut.  It’s getting through it and seeing what’s waiting for you on the other side. 

Getting Real

Running is a lot like life.  You can have a training run or a race that feels amazing.  You feel invincible and you're on top of the world.  And then.....just when you're starting to enjoy those endorphins from your running high, the bottom falls out and you're down in a ditch, covered in dirt.  (Not that that would ever happen to anyone around here....)  It's a weird one, that relationship we (I mean me) have with running.  Some days I love it so much and I can't imagine my life without it.  Others, I want to set my shoes on fire and drive over them with the car.  That, ladies and gentleman, is your coach talking right there.  I say all this to show that even the most experienced runners and those who even coach, struggle with the good AND the bad days too.  It took me a long time to understand that THIS is part of being a runner.  It's really part of being passionate.  A bittersweet relationship that gives but it also takes and you have to be willing to go with the flow.  It's taken me far too long to learn those lessons and I'm still learning new ones every day.  But for now, I hope you join me in our attempts do deal with the OTHER side of the running: the stuff that goes on inside the mind.  To me, that's what really gets you across the finish line.